Puffy Eyes

Not because of crying...but due to the fact that I cannot sleep. I may feel stressed because of the recent breakup but what I am more stressed about is that I cannot cry. I wanted to cry, cry until I am fully dehydrated that no Gatorade can fix. It is like every night as I retire I feel that my heart wanted to burst but my eyes are too small to let them all out. It might be due to the fact that he has not answered my email. I am itching to delete all the emails and delete the account but I don't want to lose all of my connections to him. He was a big part of my life. I wanted us to be friends, really good friends, but it seems to be so hard at the moment.