living life alive

I recall when I was in my first struggling year as a college student in misty UP Baguio, I was reading this article on Philo I while waiting outside my room near the library. Shiverring because it is damn cold (it is mid February I think) and because of fear that I may not deliver the report right. Then there I was at exactly 8:30 am, in front of 23 students, also my blockmates but two of them were not, stone cold, while introducing the "Absurdity of Life." I cannot remember who the author is but I surely remember how I discussed it in our class. I remembered it well due to the fact that it is something that is happening to me right of this moment. "Good morning everyone, I'm going to tackle about the Absurdity of Life by '???'. When we were young, our parents or guardians told us how we should live our life. We wake up, eat our breakfast, play, clean up, eat our lunch, sleep 'siesta', wake up, eat merienda, play again, eat dinner, and sleep (while drawing a diagram). As we grow, we wake up, clean up, eat breakfast, go to school, eat, go home, eat, and sleep. We enjoy life! Until one day, somebody goes to your place and tells you about the new video game that he is playing, then you realised (balloon thought) my life is not that fun afterall! That is the time that our life becomes habitual, becomes absurd. We were happy until some external force entered our life and made us feel unhappy, unsatisfied. And it will be a point of our life that we want to be out of the circle of absurdity. We get to play that new video game, in which it becomes our new life. If every teenager like us has been doing the same things, I will not feel unsatisfied at all." "But what happens if something that is already part of our 'life' is suddenly taken away from us? Imagine a child where her lollipop was taken away from her. She'll cry, cry hard! And there is only one thing that will make her stop, well, make it two. It is either you'll give her back the candy that was taken away from her or give her another lollipop that is much better than the one that she had. Same goes with life. You may never realise this because the things that are taken away from us seems to be replaced with something better, like our toys and cellphones. Do you ever realise how we will handle our lives without our parents, girlfriends and boyfriends (serious ha! hindi fling), or friends? Some people ends with suicide. It is because life is irreversible. The people who failed to find the two choices I gave felt that there is no reason for them to live anymore, so the ended their physical forms. You cannot go back to the life that you used to have because it just can't be. You will again feel that your life is miserable and meaningless without them. SO to be able to save yourself from that misery, you have to have something better than the one you used to have; it may be a person, a religion, a pet, or anything that will make you feel that you have a better life right now and you are definitely out of the absurdity that you are once in." The class clapped and I'm definitely out of here. Off to the bilyaran and have my life running wild.