"Let the children come to me, Don't stop them! For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." Mark 10:14

I dont know how to start this one. Behind all the happiness that God has offered me this Christmas, I still feel sad within, sad that other people who are close to my heart are "suffering" on the season to be jolly. I know that we are the ones responsible for all our actions, but is it sad to know that sometimes we have to be alone to be able to take resposibility. Imagine yourself being alone during Christmas eve knowing that your family is just one ride away, the feeling that you want to be with them but you just can't. Its nicer to be alone in a foreign land. Its nicer to be alone on your birthday, at least no one is reminding you how old you are. But during Christmas?! Its the time where family gets together, exchange gifts, fill their home with love. For just one thing, for loving someone they dont think the right one for you, you need to suffer all these? Now we have rules in choosing the person to love? I just dont know, maybe I am just thinking that if the same case happens to me, they will also disown me. I also dont like the guy, but I am only here to tell her the bad and the good, the ups and the downs, the right from the wrong. Another ball of fire that hit my world: My inaanak passed away last December 26, 2006, past 3 p.m. Jirah is a very cute girl, a little maldita but cute. She is so cute that she can be your teddy bear that you can cuddle all night. That news struck me a lot. I received a text from my mom when Im on my way home and tears just fell off my eyes. Maybe because it's unimaginable. One jolly little girl...i just cant imagine. She's the girl that ate Shiela and her husband prayed for, God granted their wish and now took her to heaven. Jirah is too good and even God dont want to see her suffering in this mean world. Last night, I thought that I am ready enough to go to their place, but as soon as I laid my eyes on that white transporter, weakness in me struggles out and it just won. Im still not ready to handle things like that, but that's how God works, there's a reason behind it all, there is... Now as the new year comes, let's reflect on the things that we have done for the past year, with all the goods and the bads, the ups and the downs, the right and the wrong, and try with our very best to improve our lives and pass through the hurdles and the bumps that are laid ahead of us. Happy Holidays!