ME anniversary

Wow! It has been a year that I have been single, squeaky clean. No flirt buddies, fuck buddies, but just love buddies who are my very bestest friends. I never thought i could make it. As everyone knows I have never been emotionally available since the first time I have had a guy in my life, which was 7 effin years ago. I always crave for somebody, is it sexual dependence?! hahaha. From the bad breakup that I had, I told myself that I need not a rebound guy. It would be unfair to both of us. Am I ready now? I cant tell. When the time that my singlehood time lapses, admirers and date proposals keep pouring. I am not boasting but I think it is my pheromones working, or is it God's? Why not? Right now I must admit that I am seeing a guy for about a month now. I enjoy his company. His family and friends are nice to me. He is very honest with his feelings for me. But one thing I do not understand is the fact that he has a girlfriend and I do not know what his plans about it. The three of us works in the same office so that makes things complicated. This is the reason why I HATE office romance and wants to stay away from it as much as possible. *sigh* But I already made it clear to him that nothing will go on between us while he is in a relationship with somebody else, who the hell wants that?! I dont seek thrill that much. Right now, my friends and I keep on drinking. It is just fun to let the alcohol flow down our esophagus and eventually our brains, hahaha. We are not sad, we are actually happy that we are together. We have different issues of our own and we go through that together. If I think about it, we are friends for about 1 year and half now, and Im enjoying every minute of it. This I know will last!

unfriendly friendliness

I have a very bad character of taking my friends for granted. I am never known to have a gang of friends. I know it is easy for me to get along with people, i know how to adjust to their moods and attitude but I never have a large group of friends in any particular place; whether in high school, college, or work. I only have a close knit of friends, which does not include my toes if I count them. You can place me in a room full of people and i could have a nice conversation with them but you will only hear me whispering to one person. But I really really appreciate those people who stick with me and can get my moods. I love them for just being there and being my friends. Those whom even I say nasty things to them and gave sharp looks, i love you. Thank you for just being a friend. Here are a list of my friends. I may not be in constant communication with them but they played and is playing a big part of my life and of who I am. This is not in any order, but may be the longest I have known :) 1. Ghie 2. Grace 3. Sherie 4. Kyle 5. Tinie 6. Roma 7. Jun See! It is not even a handful! These are the special people in my life and I will swallow all of my pride not just to lose them. I only have a few, but they are the ones that make life happier to live.

In The Scene

Wow, it has been awhile. A lot has already happened! The best thing is that for the past months i have never been late!! It is a big improvement. I was promoted as tier 2 with some complications, keeping my fingers crossed. Everything is happening so fast, I myself cant even keep up. The cliche is true that if you dont have a lovelife, you'll get more focus and improvement on you career. hahaha. Everything is working well for me. I have new friends without losing the old ones. haaay.... that is all I can say. You'll hear more from me soon. :)

missing him...

I just find myself searching for his multiply account. I can't remember the name of his account anymore. I finally got relieved because I know that I am finally losing the part of me that is holding on to him. But I feel sad because I really lose him. I don't know now what has happened to him. Especially now that Intel closed down, which we have been discussing for months, and it has finally come true. I do not know his whereabouts. I do not know his plans. I do not know anything from him. It saddens me. I have already accepted the fact that we are no longer, and will never work out as a couple. But part me of me still wants him, even as a friend.