You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One!

You like having a guy in your life, and overall, you prefer not to be single. You won't go out with a guy out of desperation.. you rather be alone. However, when you're single, you do tend to obsess a little over dating. Because no matter how good your single life is, it's better with a great guy around.

Do You Need a Man?

AMYRTH

Lots of my friends do not know of my pen name Amyrth, only a few special people know. I have a different identity whenever I use this name. I can share all of my thoughts without hesitations, give constructive criticisms all I want to. I can enter different forums and give advices. Well, i can say that this is my cyber name, just like the pen names that our heroes used during the Spanish era, i.e., Dapit Hapon of Rafael Palma. Where does Amyrth came from? I used to read the Bible whenever I have free time (i now call it pleasure time) , remember the gifts of the Three Wise Men to Jesus in Bethlehem, one of them is myrrh. It's used there as an embalming oil but it can be associated with incense and perfumes. It's like giving a scent to a rotting soul. It is said to be way more expensive than gold. During that time also, I got fascinated about Greek mythology, so why not give myrrh an ancient greek twist. Eureka!!!! I came up with Amyrth. Eversince, I use Amyrth to almost all web publications that I do. I'm so pissed with Carlos Agassi because aside from his rapping that totally sucks, his "nick name" sounds like mine, i just do not know the spelling, grrrr.... Anyways, there... that is the history of my cyber name :)

So cool!!!

While staring straight at the screen, hold up a finger in front of you, pointing to the ceiling. You should see two copies of your finger. Move your hand around until the two copies are floating over the two yin-yangs. Keep staring at the screen while doing this. Blink until you see one complete yin-yang with two dots. Or simply magpakaduling!! No cheating!!

PROCRASTINATION

Another work day.... There are so many lotsa things that I have and need to do, and here I am writing a nonsense entry. I want you to meet Ria, the other side of me.... the ever tamad side of me, not even near from the ever sipag Ms. Ria. I woke up around 9:00 am, my call time, went to office an hour late; it's a good thing that I stay somewhere near the office, let's say about 2-minute walk. Haay, I really don't feel like working today, I dont have the drive to work (not the thingy with 4 wheels). I no longer have the enthusiasm for what I am doing now. I need something to spice up my life a little bit, who says beer?! Give me some Ativan! Anyways, I have piles of things I need to finish now and i dont feel like doing it. I feel like writing, hahaha!!! I want to go out for a cup of coffee and a read a good book, or anything but listening to dictations of sh**-a** doctors and typing them down (I'd rather listen to my mom's nagging!). Waaaahhhhh, I'm bored to my veins!!! I need something new and I can't think of one. I am about to jog with Kyle later this afternoon, maybe it can hype me up. Draw some endorphins to my system (the happy hormone) and relieve me of my stressful life. Yes, that is the exact word, I am stressed! And when I am stressed I get fat, and when I get fat I get depressed!!! I am depressed! This is going nowhere, I have tons of work to do, and I need to do it fast. Pity me, I need an overhaul.

Puppy Love....

Weekend spells movie marathon. not really so much of a marathon, I only watched like 2 1/2 movies last night and another 2 1/2 movies this morning. The movie that stands out is Little Manhattan. I remember the days when I was at their age,, and yes! I have a puppy love and who doesn't have!!! Then... there was an imaginary border between boys and girls. We, the cool girls, chat about everything and just chat, we do some girls' stuff sometimes, and the oh-so-yucky-boys are there playing texts, habulan, and everything under the sun (literally!!!) and they are oh-so-mabaho-with-sweat during the class after break. Girls do not talk to boys, and vice versa, because it is the way it should be. But there is this one guy in my class, I just can't remember his name, and he is so mabango. Of course, I did not tell my friends that I have a crush on him because it is just not so cool. We see each other after class, and everything just feels like heaven. I was in grade 4 or 5 I think. He even climbs a macopa tree and we'll eat tons of macopa on the roof till our stomach aches, hahaha. A kiss on my cheek means so much then. The school year ends and I never saw him again. His friends say that he moves to another school and it all ends there. It's funny how kids love. We adults always say it is nothing serious, but it is something that will affect the rest of their lives, mostly remembered. How i envy kids because they love without restrictions, inhibitions. They share what they have and accepts what they dont have. How they treasure every single moment that they are together, not worrying about tomorrow and not bothered about yesterday. Leaving what the society calls in the name of love... wow... I am an adult now,,, all I can do is just to wish to be a child again.

No Day But Today!!!

Rent is a Tony and Pulitzer Prize-winning rock musical. It opened in New York City on April 29, 1996, at the Nederlander Theatre and continues to play on Broadway (the seventh-longest running Broadway musical as of March 1, 2006). Based upon Puccini's opera La bohème, the musical centers on a group of impoverished young artists and musicians struggling to survive in New York's Alphabet City neighborhood under the shadow of AIDS (in La bohème the disease was tuberculosis).Rent was one of the first Broadway musicals to feature clearly gay, bisexual, and lesbian characters on stage. Almost every previous production that dealt with such issues had generally been relegated to off-Broadway venues (an exception is La Cage aux Folles). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rent_(musical)).

I've watched this movie last sunday night because our cable went off and i will not be able to watch CSI supreme sunday, so it leaves me with no choice. I rented some movies at a local pirated dvd store. I actually intended to watch "Just Friends" because I wanted to watch a feel good movie, but it is a 4-in-1 Dvd so i immediately got hold of it. I have heard about RENT long before college and get quite interested with theatre, but i did not have a chance to watch the theatre. Anyways, the dvd comes with lyrics so on the first scene, i just found myself singing along, hahaha (and i still sings it right now in the office). It is entertaining with its satirical content and eccentricity. The setting is different because having AIDS, being bisexual, and being a prostitute nowadays is not as a BIG issue as before, but it is still an issue. There are several outreach programs and indie films that already deal about their situation, and they are widely accepted in the society. I will not be surprised if a transvestite runs for government. Certain parts were edited in the movie (daw? because i wasn't able to watch the theatre version), that were moving, but it is still enjoyable watching.

What do we know of New York City? It is the city that never sleeps, land of professionals, rich and famous, but we do not know of the place of oppressed, struggling people who wants to survive their fast-paced world (sounds family...Makati???) on the other side of New York. That is what the movie is all about, about survival, about paying the rent of love and life. We can not buy happiness, experience, love, and everything that adds up to what we call life, but we can rent those, with a given time and with a price. That movie brought me to tears, in realization that all of us can afford differently in reality. All we have to do is enjoy 525,600 minutes of it amidst of all the shortcomings that we have.

FAVORITE LINES:

• (Referring to Angel the transvestite when he was mugged) I am more than a man you can ever be and I am more than a woman you ever wanted.
• (Referring to Angel when she died) You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends. But it was us, baby, who were the lucky ones.
• (They were just singing, ahehehe) How do you start a fire when there's nothing to burn, and it feels like something's stuck in your flue?
• (Mimi referring to Roger) Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
• (Well said by Collins (Angel's lover) at Angel's funeral) I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it. A new lease you were my love - on life...all my life.

For synopsis, google is available anytime.

Wish List of a Desperate Chistmas Tree- continuation

The christmas tree is standing in the sala pondering what does she have around her. She is surrounded by toys, balls, angels, lights but something is still missing. She have been wondering what that is. The kids have stopped playing around her, and the oldies have finished watching their late nights movies, bur she still can not decipher what does she wants. A kid came down the stairs, putting a box of cookies and a glass of milk by the side table. The cookies asked the glass of milk and the glass of milk asked the christmas tree. The christmas tree told them what she was thinking. the glass of milk made her think again and again because the christmas tree seems to have everything in her. One by one, she thinks of what is on her branches. The toy cellphone, computer, house, a nice bed, shoes, clothes are there. The ball kyle, bobby, aila, lax, iris, lhen, ghie, grace, sherie, and other rainbow-colored balls that surrounds her. Angel mommy, daddy, kuya ross, kuya willy, ate riza, and ate linda are also there. The lights of good job, nice family, great friends, great people, inspiring people, are also there. But what seems to be missing?! And then Santa Claus came, grabbing the milk and the cookies on the table. The cookies again asked the milk and the milk asked Santa Claus what does the Christmas Tree seems to be missing. Santa Claus told the christmas tree that she should stop looking for what's surrounding her. She spend so much time looking at her branches. The cookies at last had the courage to shout "Look at the top!" The tree felt something was missing at the top of her, she misses a Star. Santa Claus put the cookies and milk back to the table and pour all the things inside his bag and look for something that would fit the tip of christmas tree. There is a big star that is full of diamonds and plated with gold. This star was too heavy for the christmas tree and it soon fell to the ground. Santa Claus pull out another star but it seems so frail that the wind might blew it over and is covered by the long branches of the christmas tree. The Santa Claus can no longer offer her any stars and told her that the time will come. Santa Claus put the gifts on the floor, ate the cookies, drunk the milk, and left. Christmas tree was again alone. The sun is out. Rays reflecting through her branches. And a blinding light strikes her balls. She looked at where that blinding light was coming from. She is wondering who might have put it there. She saw a 5-pointed star above her with so much.... TO BE CONTINUED........

Another Christmas chaluva!!!! from a desperate christmas tree...

Christmas is for children, presents to give away, simbang gabi, thanking jesus christ, and et cetera. But why everytime christmas time comes, singles are always on the hot seat of pity. People looks at us with disgust. Is it our fault that the right guy for us has not passed our way? Is it our fault that we are much focused with our careers because of the economic crisis? Is it our fault that we think we deserve someone better than the one who is around us? Well, the answer is a a heffalump YES!!!! It is all my fault! I am too cynic. i do not see the good in people before i give up on them. I do not expose my self. I don't go out. I rarely mingle but with my friends. I am the only one to blame. Love will not just come my way. It need a little help from me and the phenomena of DESTINY! but i am the sailor of my own ship, and the master of my own destiny! In other words, I WILL STILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING and no benefit of the doubt that we are not destined to be with each other, maybe the wind has not brought him to me, or blah..blah..blah..so on and so forth. I am just a christmas tree who have different colored balls around, several twinkling lights that brighten me, angels hanging on my twigs, gifts on my floor, but i am missing something...... a star that will make everything right. Maybe it is just out there on top of another christmas tree, or it was just being manufactured, or at the department store, or who knows it is just at the attic waiting to be discovered. All i have to do is discover..... MERRY CHRISTMAS TIIS!!! (TangIna I'm Single)

INSPIRASYON....

Ano nga ba ang buhay kung wala siya? Hindi nga ba iikot ang mundo? Marahil siya ang iyong nanay, tatay, kuya, ate, bunso, boypren, girlpren, kaibigan, aso, pusa, isda, kahit ano, kahit sino. Pero pano nga ba kung wala siya. Ano na ang ibig sabihin ng buhay? Ano na ang halaga ng buhay? Sa tuwing nawawala ang inspirasyon, pilit akong naghahanap ng panibago. Panibagong paglalaanan ng aking pinaghihirapan. Ngunit ano nga ba ang aking hinahanap, isang inspirasyon na di malayong kaparehas din ng dati. Bago nga ba ito o isang lumang inspirasyon na nilagyan ng bagong dekorasyon... bagong ilong, bagong mata, bagong bibig. Dekorasyong binigyan ng bagong kahulugan ang inspirasyon. Suportang dating nararanasan at suportang wala sa dati. Inaabangan din sa paggising sa umaga ngunit nagbibigay ng kakaibang sinag ng araw. Nasasabik sa bawat pagkakataon na magkita ngunit bagong karanasan ang nagaabang. Marahil bago na rin siyang maitatawag...

50 things i want to do and have before 50

There are several stuff that i want to do and i want to have before i die, from the simplest to the extreme, some are weird, some seems impossible, some seems ridiculous. I hope that I will be able to fulfill all these.

1. The right husband for me. (who doesn't want one? someone to grow old with..)
2. Cute daughters and sons. (and little apos. WAIT! I am thinking too advance!)
3. I should have learned how to love wholly, unselfishly, unconditionally
4. All of the people who did something bad against me are forgiven
5. All of the people whom i did something bad to should've forgiven me
6. I wanna go scuba diving and play with fishes
7. Sky diving and play on the clouds.
8. Go bunjee jumping (the heights really scares the hell out of me)
9. Finishing all the rides in enchanted kingdom (it's a good start)
10. After that, Disneyland Hongkong
11. Before that, I should have a life insurance (just in case the bolts went loose, knock, knock, knock)
12. I have a car
13. before that , i should learn how to drive
14. I have a house
15. I own a coffee house that looks like an old burger joint or bistro with blue and pink lights (old school)
16. I wanna go hunting
17. I wanna learn tennis
18. I wanna learn boxing
19. I wanna learn how to make a garden (i dont have a green thumb)
20. I should have plenty of dogs
21. I should have survived the Ang Hang restaurant or the like
22. I should learn yoga
23. I go to the gym regularly
24. I've been to at least three countries
25. I should have learned how to stay and be satisfied with a single thing

It's hard to think for the 25 more, maybe i need another 25 years to fill that up... Maybe that time i have decided what the precious 25 would be :)